Working on Blocks

In the three years I have been attending therapy here at St Rose, I have always been somewhat resistant to learning and practicing techniques. I have always said to myself: "that's not me, its unnatural, I don't like how I sound, it takes too long, etc." Most of that is true for me. I am a fast paced person, fast thinker, fast talker, always two steps ahead. (That probably comes from years of scanning ahead in conversations, so I could choose words that I would not stutter on!)

I am pretty certain now that my resistance has come from the need to accept myself fully as a person who stutters. I am sure you have heard that in class. That clients receiving therapy for stuttering very often need to work on acceptance - either simultaneously with fluency targets or before attempting fluency work.

I am probably as close as I am ever going to get with acceptance. I am comfortable with my relaxed, easy stuttering. For the most part, it is forward moving, and my stuttering does not impede my communication.

I do not like the blocking that I have been doing more and more of. I have tried to even deny that's whats going on, but it is what is happening. I am getting stuck, because my breathing pattern is off. So, momentous for me, I have AGREED to work on identifying moments of blocked speech, getting a feel for whats happening in the block, and finding ways to get out of it.

I am doing this with the two grad student clinicians I am working with this semester.

This is huge for me. I have consistently resisted working on speech tools. Maybe now I'm ready. Stay tuned - I will report here how this goes over the next weeks. We are going to record some conversations so that we all can see where my tension is when I block! Cool!