Faking Stuttering

A few of the blogs I follow and the stuttering community on Face book recently mentioned the episode of “Glee” about a character who stutters. It is a new TV show that started this season about a high school glee club. The members of the glee club are so different, its amazing that collectively they are able to produce beautiful harmony and music together. But that is what makes diversity so important, right?

I tuned in to the series midway, and watched the episode where the character who stuttered revealed that she had actually been faking it for several years so that she could get out of having to do an oral presentation in class. I never expected that. (Of course, having missed the previous episodes, I had no idea what build up, if any, had been given to the stuttering story line). The character in the wheelchair obviously never expected either that she would reveal that she had pretended to stutter. He had thought they were kindred spirits, both sharing a difference. It gave them something special in common, he thought. (You can catch the episode on www.hulu.com -it was the one on 11/18/2009).

I thought about this issue of faking a stutter. I didn’t like that stuttering was portrayed this way in the show. I would have preferred that she really stuttered, so that we could have a popular television show include a positive portrayal of stuttering. I watched the show this week, and heard the character sing. She was remarkable, and it would have been great to have that story line play out, as many people who stutter can sing beautifully without stuttering. Interestingly, no mention was made at all about her having revealed her fake stuttering.

This character obviously used voluntary stuttering to make it seem she really stuttered. Hers was very mild. I have also used voluntary stuttering, but to advertise my stuttering and as a desensitization tool. So, another way to use voluntary stuttering? I wouldn't recommend it!

As I reflected more on “faking it”, I realized that I was doing the exact same thing for many years with my covert stuttering. I was trying to fake being fluent, so that I could pass myself off as something I was not. Even now, I still find myself faking it sometimes. Meaning that in some situations, I will not disclose that I stutter. Especially if I am having a very fluent day, or more importantly, it is a situation where I feel I will be judged negatively if I let the “stuttering me” out. Wait a minute! Is that the same thing? Is that faking it, or is it just me managing my stuttering so I will be comfortable in certain situations?

Giving Yourself Permission to Change

I had a really great meeting last week in therapy. One of the graduate SLP students that I am working with this semester took a big risk and and confronted me on something that I have been struggling with. That's why it is SO important to have a "right relationship" with your client, so that risks and important discussions can happen.

Just as a covert stutterer has to give herself permission to stutter openly, we also have to give our selves permission to change.

Check out this video. I talk about what I learned, how significantly it impacted me and how change is a process, a life long one that we MUST be open to.

Link to video! Let me know what you think! (feel free to rate the video too - the star system).

Doing What I Thought I Couldn't

One of the things that I had always wanted to do was teach. But I thought I couldn't because of stuttering. When choosing a career path in college, I remember thinking that teaching was out of the question. It would require too much talking and who would want to hear a stutterer? So I chose a field that I thought would entail less talking- social work. Well, it didn't quite turn out to be less talking, because as we know, social workers/counselors talk to people every day. I had thought that at least I wouldn't have to stand up in front of groups and talk, and risk stuttering.

Now, some twenty years later, I am doing exactly what I thought I could never do, and in a way, I am teaching. I consider myself to be very lucky. I have put myself in a position to be talking to different groups about the stuttering experience and acceptance. And I really love doing it. It is a way for me to give and do volunteer work about something I am passionate about. Over the last two years, I have facilitated several workshops and presentations on acceptance of stuttering and how we can manage it in our lives. Something I never would have dreamed was possible. And I don't have to be a certified teacher to teach.

Two weeks ago, I helped to present a 6 hour workshop to speech language pathologists, with two other people who stutter (Dr. Klein was one of them). Our workshop covered therapy approaches for pre-school and older kids and teens, and adult considerations. I covered the section on adult issues and spent considerable time discussing covert stuttering. There were over 120 SLPs in attendance,and we received excellent feedback about our presentation. The day proved that there needs to be a partnership between professionals and people who live the stuttering experience.

Two days ago, I participated in a NSA Youth Day in Syracuse NY. I volunteered to present a workshop for parents. As it turned out, me and my friend Joe (Klein) actually co-facilitated the presentation for a group that included both parents, students and professional SLPs. This was one of the most moving experiences I have had. We talked about stuttering being OK and acceptance. Parents shared their worries and fears and their hopes for their kids. Some shared that this was their first experience talking openly about stuttering, and hearing adults who stutter do so freely. Parents commented that they wished they had knew about resources like this long ago.

Some parents openly showed emotion throughout, and especially when we had everyone practice voluntary stuttering. For some parents, it was the first time they had experienced what their child experienced. Two moms who had just met practiced voluntary stuttering with each other and both were visibly moved and teary eyed. They felt a powerful connection. We then finished with having everyone try a Chinese finger trap and feel how it feels to get stuck during a block. It was a good way to end the adult workshop. We had all shared powerful emotional moments with each other. I felt very proud and honored to be a part of that with my friend Joe and new friends from Syracuse.

The kids joined the adults as we concluded the day and shared with us what they had worked on during their workshop. Some of these kids had NOT wanted to be at this workshop. Their parents had strongly encouraged them to come. The kids made a video of what its' like to stutter in public and get made fun of. It was amazing to see this, and listen as the kids excitedly answered questions about how they worked together to act this out. The kids were grinning from ear to ear. They had learned something about their own stuttering on this sunny Saturday. And the looks of pride on the adult faces was unmistakable.

A mom came up to me as we were leaving and asked if it was OK to give me a hug. She said she always thought it was her job to fix her kid. She said she feels relief to know that acceptance can be part of her job too. My eyes welled up along with hers.

Yep, it was a great way to spend a Saturday. I feel lucky to be a part of something I never thought I could do. All the smiles and tears will stay with me for a long time.

Covert Stuttering

Just had a quick conversation with a Twitter friend from UK who is experiencing discomfort as she comes out of the covert closet. Covert stuttering is near and dear to my heart, as I was an expert at hiding my stutter from the world. Lisa has been doing that too, for many years. But she is now taking small steps towards being more open and letting herself Be who she is.

She asked tonight, "Where do I belong, covert or overt? Cause there's no place in between, help. Feeling lost!"

I so know that feeling, being caught between two worlds. Like you don't fit in with the people who stutter openly and can't hide it even if they tried. And you don't fit in with fluent speakers either. So you feel lost, sort of in a nowhere place.

Professionals who will work with coverts really need to understand how emotionally complex this can feel. You feel no one understands. Lisa is experiencing growth in leaps and bounds, but it is also scary. Very scary, because it feels like you are abandoning the person you knew for someone you haven't met yet.

I talked about the covert stuttering experience at a workshop I did earlier in the week with Dr Klein and another SLP who stutters, Steve Marchant. A lot of the SLPs in the audience were incredulous that coverts can so well hide their stuttering and be so good at passing as fluent.

A fellow PWS who is also a current member of Fluency Council wrote a great piece on covert stuttering for this month's council newsletter. In it, he describes covert stuttering as a perfectly acceptable management technique towards more fluent speech. He does not believe it is hiding at all. He likens covert stuttering to wearing eye glasses if you need to correct your vision or a hearing aide if you are deaf. He simply substitutes feared words for easier words to correct his stuttered speech.

I know where my friend Lisa is coming from. It can be lonely and scary confronting what you have denied for years. Stuttering is not just stuttered speech.

What do you think? How would you advise Lisa?

Being Around People Who Stutter

Just a quick note . . . . . I have a good friend that I used to work with about two years ago. We keep in touch more now that we don't work together than when we saw each other every day at work. She was always very comfortable with my stuttering in the work place, and would ask me questions sometimes, like did my stuttering vary or increase according to certain circumstances.

I remember one time she commented to me (and prefaced it with, "no offense intended"), after being with you for a while, I notice that I stutter a little bit for a day or two afterwards. It also reminded me of when I myself have visited Southern states - Louisiana or Texas - that for a day or two afterwards, I find myself speaking with a bit of a southern drawl! What's up with that?

At first, I didn't know what to make of her mentioning that my stuttering was "rubbing off on her", but then I just laughed, because it was kind of funny. And I actually noticed her stutter a bit sometimes after hanging out with me.

What do you think? Do you think its possible that someone can "pick up"another's stuttering? Do you think a person who stutters might be offended by this? Or think they are being made fun of?

Addressing Fear Through Meditation: Zen and Stuttering

I recently read this article written by Stefan Bogdanov, who was born in Bulgaria and started to stutter by the age of three years. Stefan is also a member of the Toastmasters Club and felt that connecting with the audience and being himself would help with his public speaking. He experienced a life crisis at the age of 25 and was in search of a solution to alleviate anxiety that he felt with stuttering and public speaking. He was ultimately influenced by John Harrison's article, "Zen in the art of speaking" which focuses on mindfullness meditation and achieving effortless, fluent speech. In addition, he practiced Vipassana or mindfulness Buddhist meditation which also concentrates on breathing and focuses on ones thoughts and feelings. He writes that some of the activities would include meditating for periods of no longer than 25-30 minutes to avoid potential strain. The goal of meditation is to help with ones behavioral management, that is approaching fears and anxiety associated with speaking. He believes that an individual who stutters should not resort to this form of practice with the expectation that stuttering will be entirely removed. Rather, he feels that an individual can change their attitudes and feelings associated with stuttering through meditation. He writes that meditation also allows him to concentrate on life "from moment to moment" and referred to the Zen saying "Spontaneity is the only truth."

The question that I presented to him was whether or not Zen meditation had a direct or indirect effect on his fluency. In other words, because of a reduced fear of speaking, was he fluent or was it that it helped him with the covert phase of stuttering? He responded that meditation allowed him to focus on mindfulness and on the whole self which is a long term process. He also talks about how it helps reduce fears that a block may occur when producing a /t/ or /p/ sound. As we talked about in class, the covert theory states that an individual has difficulty with the monitoring of sounds before the articulation phase. I also wanted to get his thoughts on interactions with other kids in Bulgaria. He responded that they were understanding and he was not teased. He also does believe that more efforts and attention should to meditation as part of an SLP education.

This article is very interesting and offers another perspective for treatment. However, there are many forms of meditation so I am not sure how convincing this form of meditation is with removing fear and anxiety. Also, interestingly he indicates in the end of the paper that he still has some fear with public speaking and that stuttering may occur. This is a form of behavioral management that helped him to some degree but may not necessarily be effective for others.

Changing Attitudes in Children and Teens who Stutter

“Changing Attitudes in Children and Teens who Stutter” by Diane Games

I chose to read an article about changing the attitudes of those who stutter. With in the field of stutter is an area of concern that continues to grow. Many children and teens who stutter have been discouraged by comments from their peers. Often when they experience difficulty communicating this helps contribute to the negative attitudes. No two clients move through the process the same way, but several types of treatment activities appear to help facilitate attitude change. Five of these activities were discussed in this article.

1. Learn the vocabulary to describe stuttering
2. Learn to analyze and problem solve approaches to various speaking situations, ie. what happens during these difficult speaking situations.
3. Understand the impact of negative thinking on attitudes while speaking in different situations and transfer negative thoughts into positive ones
4. Tell your story
5. Meet other people who stutter

This article talks about using these techniques and creating a powerpoint presentation to describe and talk about their stutter. Using these powerpoints to then share with other people who stutter, their family and even their friends has been found helpful to everyone involved.

I asked the author: “I found your article both interesting and informative. I found, as a Speech language pathologist, your ideas for ways to help children not only realize and express their attitudes/feelings about stuttering were not only helpful, but also easy enough to put into therapy sessions, as I have not yet worked with a person who stutters. I am wondering at what age you suggest these techniques would work? and do you think sharing the information the child develops with his or her guardians may also be helpful to everyone involved (with the child's consent of course). Thank you for you time :)”

And receive the answer back: “Thanks for the great questions...however,every client is an individual. I try to listen to what the kids are telling me about their speech and also what the parents are saying. The general edcuation about talking/stuttering often starts the diaglogue. My students are used to sharing ppts with other students...this is also a learning component. As for the age, it really depends on the child...and I do share these ppts with parents as part of the education process. I have never had a student refuse to share..in fact, students feel empowered to give add ideas and comments, to alter the slides and to update their thoughts/information. Good luck...:)”

I found this article very helpful and full of wonderful ideas that can be easily implemented into therapy.