Thursday, September 24, 2009

Differences Are Universal

A friend from Toastmasters invited me to speak at the monthly meeting of her parents group. Shayna has heard me talk about stuttering, and stutter, many times at our club meetings. She thought my story was inspirational and wanted me to share my message with her group.

We agreed that I could use my story of trying to hide stuttering and relate it to how acceptance of differences promotes tolerance and community.

I was especially nervous about this talk because my friend is Orthodox Jewish and I would need to be observant of the group's very conservative views. The talk was to be at their community Hebrew Day School. Shayna has taught me about many of her religious customs and traditions, and I had previously attended the wedding reception of her daughter. So I was familiar with how I should dress and with the fact men and women do not shake hands upon introduction.

But I was still nervous. I wanted to make a good impression, and not do anything that would seriously breach any Jewish customs. And I really wanted to be honest and open about stuttering and its impact on my life.

Well, it turned out just fine. The group welcomed me and were genuinely interested in my story. I could tell by their great questions. I spoke for almost an hour, and felt very relaxed and at ease.

Shayna's husband was kind enough to use my camera to take a few pics. He also used the video function to record several different clips. I hadn't realized he was going to do that! I took the clips and stringed them together and posted this about the talk. I had some good stuttering, and it was OK. They asked me to come back and talk to their high school students!

Excerpts of Pam's talk to Parent Group 9/23/2009

2 comments:

  1. Pam,
    Thank you for sharing your story about speaking to a group of people whom you did not know and on a topic that is very personal to you. Public speaking, even when it is not a heartfelt topic, can make many people feel stressed; to speak openly about your stuttering and to share that at one point in your life you wanted to hide your stuttering is very brave. During my junior year of high school, I was asked to share an essay I wrote concerning the passing of my father because my teacher felt I may be able to inspire my peers. I was asked to read it aloud to the entire high school! The day I spoke I felt overwhelmed, scared, and weak. I slipped over some words and my knees nearly gave way, but in the end I made it through that difficult moment in my life. Though I am not an individual who stutters and cannot relate on that level, I do understand the stress one feels when sharing a very personal and intimate story with others. I had the luxury, unlike you, of simply telling my story- I did not have to explicitly relate it to my listeners or an outside concern. On top of the stress of public speaking, it sounds as though the idea of offending your listeners because of multicultural differences was stressing you, perhaps, even more than the speech itself; the concern you expressed is very telling of your thoughtful personality! Though I cannot speak for your listeners, I imagine they sincerely appreciated you, the story you had to tell, and how you were able to relate it to a common concern their community shares (accepting differences to promote tolerance and community). Keep it up- you never know who's life you will touch with your words! I am also interested to hear about your experience after speaking to the high school students!

    Thanks again,
    Cynthia

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  2. Thanks Cynthia! I hope you had the time (or realized) I have an excerpt from the talk posted on the blog as well, so the class could hear my stuttering in a public environment like this. I also appreciate your sharing your high school story as well.

    Everyone can relate to the fears of public speaking, but it is more daunting when you are also fearful of how the listeners will react when they hear the stuttering for the first time.

    If I speak with the high schoolers before this classd is over, I will definitiely blog it!!

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